on self preservation

Break up line for the depraved:

[along the lines of “I've done just fine without you”]

“My life sucks the same whether you're in it and out, so what's the point?”

Once the phone has hung up, it's hard know just what happened.

–

Did he really just say that? Or not say anything?

After years of therapy, maybe they're wrong and I am just the monster I seem to think I am.

And maybe I just need another monster and i'll be just fine.

–

In my dilapidated little apartment, there's something I tolerate that so many others can't.

It's myself.

It's quite funny to find that actually I tolerate myself quite well.

–

Somewhere out there there are writings that talk about how only out of repetition can the new arise. Every revolution had failed attempts prior. And every revolution has been a failure, really, as well as a triumph. What if everything was a triumph? Still there is propulsion towards repeating the triumph. There's a propulsion in repeating everything, but every repetition is actually different. The new is in between the repetition. Indiscernible many times. I don't know for sure, but I think I find hope in the indiscernible.

–

When someone tells me you could have told me earlier, my thoughts is that there is never a right time to tell someone that what they're doing is stupid and hurtful. Not only are they telling you that it's actually your fault for not telling them earlier, it also is a way to say it is therefore permissible for them to continue on their stupid and hurtful ways.

It's absolutely ridiculous that because you're the one who is utterly of the most attractive that I have ever held in my arms, that I put up with your stupid and hurtful ways.

I often think I'm getting too old for these things. But I find that I'm never too old from taking a walk to get away from you and everybody else.